RE: US 550 Albuquerque to Durango
In Albuquerque if you want a freebee you can stay at Sandia Casino, and you can spend a few bucks gambling. About 5 miles north on I-25 from the Interchange of I-40 & I-25. Take Tramway Exit>>>>>>
Also All the Walmarts in Albq allow overnighting.
Financial Planning:::::
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to get married so he could share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
Don't get mad... Get even
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour was concerned," That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
RE: Ice chest freezer
We carry a small freezer in the basement of our MH. Got it on craiglist used for $40 and it has worked out very well. Got a transmiter thermometer to keep an eye on the temp. It will hold temps well below freezing for days. It stays plugged in and when we are using the generator or have 110 it keeps the temp at around 5 degrees.
The Auction House::::::
One Saturday morning in Whyte's Auction House the bidding was proceeding furiously and strongly when the Chief Auctioneer suddenly announced, 'A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand dollars.
There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a cry,
"Two thousand five hundred"!!!!!
Texting:::::
Text from wife:::::
A wife being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text:
"if you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
The husband's reply,
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."
RE: Lubing the toilet gasket
A pair, (or 1) rubber glove(s), & a light coat of Vasiline, a couple times a year.
Vasiline is a petroleum based product that will eventually make the gasket brittle. Did mine anyways.My rig is 14 yrs old and Vaseline has been the lubricant of choice with great results-- also the glove makes it a lot easier to apply
Wife's Diary:
The following is just one version of an old joke circulating on the web:
Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all
day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late,
but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I
suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he
didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my
fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to
do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that
I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, "I love
you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as
if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly
and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with
silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later,
he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts
were somewhere else. He fell asleep -- I cried. I don't know what to do.
I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a
disaster.
Husband's Diary:
Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.
Gender:::::
You may not know that many nonliving things have a gender:::::
For example...
1) Ziploc Bags-
They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
2) Copiers-
They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) Tire-
Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) Hot Air Balloon-
Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges-
Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) Web Page-
Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) Subway-
Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) Hourglass-
Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) Hammer-
Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) Remote Control-
Female...... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this-it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Travel Plans::::::
Places I have been or want to go::::::
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty well in mine!:R
The Problem::::::
Proctor & Gamble(Crest Toothpaste) was informed that the toothpaste division had a problem. They sometimes shipped empty boxes
without the tube inside. This challenged their perceived quality with the
buyers and distributors. Understanding how important the relationship with
them was, the CEO assembled his top people. They decided to
hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem. The
project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated,
RFP, and third-parties selected. Six months (and $80 million) later they had
a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, and high quality. Everyone associated with the project was pleased.
They solved the problem by using a high-tech precision scale that would
sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box weighed less than it
should. The line would stop, someone would walk over, remove the defective
box, and then press another button to re-start the line. As a result of the
new package monitoring process, no empty boxes were being shipped out of the
factory.
With no more customer complaints, the CEO felt the $80 million was well
spent. He then reviewed the line statistics report and discovered the number
of empty boxes picked up by the scale in the first week was consistent with
projections, however, the next three weeks were zero! The estimated rate
should have been at least a dozen boxes a day. He had the engineers check
the equipment, they verified the report as accurate.
Puzzled, the CEO traveled down to the factory, viewed the part of the line
where the precision scale was installed, and observed just ahead of the new
$80 million dollar solution sat a $20 desk fan blowing the empty boxes off
the belt and into a bin. He asked the line supervisor what that was about.
"Oh, that," the supervisor replied, "Bert, the kid from maintenance, put it
there because he was tired of walking over, removing the box and re-starting
the line every time the bell rang."
Groan Alert:::::
$10,000,000 DOT CROW STUDY FINDINGS
They found about 200 dead crows near Topeka, KS. and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows,& he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, & only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
The DOT then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill. The Ornithological Behaviourist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
His conclusion was that all of the lookout crows could say "Cah", but none could say "Truck."
Well, what did you expect of me? Have a great day:::::
RE: Have A Destination, Need A Place To Stay.
Pima County Fair grounds about 10 miles east of Tucson on I-10. $100 per week for FHU. Lots of room for pets to run and very nice hosts.
A breakthrough in conversation::::::
Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation."
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter species communication, his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.
"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband."
Painful Puns:::::
Found these on the internet and thought maybe someone would like to waste a couple minutes of their life:R
I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
RE: Cheap(er) RV parks in the southwest??
Spent a couple of weeks in Tucson in January. Stayed at The Pima County Fair grounds. Full Hookups. $100 per week or $20 per night
Its located about 10 miles east of Tucson on Highway 10. For Tucson that is cheap!
In New Mexico the State Parks charge $14 per night for water and Elect.
RE: Tennessee State Parks - New reservation Rip-off
To go along with everyone else complaining about State Park Fees--Here in NM it's $14.00 per night for water and elect sites. And they don't take reservations in the winter months:R
RE: How to clean caulking?
Carb Cleaner aerosol can purchased at Walmart for less than $2. Just spray a little on a rag and rub. Do not spray directly on the rig-especialy if it is paint.
For resealing The GE Premium Waterproof Silicone. Permanently Waterproof -Flexible and Shrink/crack proof. Its about $6.50 a tube at Lowes
