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RE: Not having a good night . . . missing my daddy!
I know many of you have been through this, so I'm hoping you can offer some help. How can I help my mother get through this? How do I get through this?
I don't know if I can offer advise or not--this is just how we dealt with the issue.
My wife lost both of her parents to cancer and diabetes in the span of 5 months. My mother in turn died of emphysema 8 months later--that was 3 parents in 13 months--fairly life changing.
Upfront, all of their deaths were completly avoidable with common sense diets, treatment, exercise, and routine visits to a doctor. My wife and I looked at our daughters and refocused our lives for them. We go to the gym regularly together (she has lost over 80 lbs and now runs 3+ miles daily), shut off TV (no cable, no satellite, only DVDs that we want) and do a lot of RVing.
I got a chance at graduate school, and we took it. Sold the house, put everything in storage and bought our signature rig and have been fulltimeing it for the last two years. We have visited 32 separate parks in the last two years. We are relooking the world through our kids eyes and doing it as a family--together.
Now we are in the process of building a retirement home and I am specifically putting in a room for my father (our only remaining parent). He is NOT invalid and is quite capable of taking care of himself. I am simply giving him a choice--he can live his life the way he wants too or he can be part of ours.
He has chosen to come with us. Tomorrow he is meeting me here in NC and we will fly back to Monterey together and he will come with us on a 30 trip as we explore the west as move back east. My kids are looking forward to this and so is he.
I am trying to put an anchor in this world to encourage him to stay focused, alert, and needed. I want him to know he is needed and not a burden, but a joy to have around. My other siblings are doing similar things by redoing a spare room for him or building a bedroom on the existing house.
I occasionally get angry at when I think of the WASTE my Mom and my DW's parents did by not taking care of themselves, but I choose to instead focus my thoughts on stories I tell my kids about the positive impacts they have had on my life.
There is a quote that I like, “If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.” The corollary to that is "If you look for the worst in a situation, you will surely find it."
So I look for the best in the situation--my wife and I are healthier, more engaged in our kids, more focused on each other, and happier because we CHOOSE to be. I will not let despair, darkness, and depression control me--I will control my own life--I will shape the events around me with the most important things around me--my family.
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GreenSalsa
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06/27/09 09:19pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Big Summer Trip, going from West to the East
Update on our trip for California to North Carolina (T-7 days and counting). Thanks for all the help!
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/2063/eastwardrequiem.jpg
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GreenSalsa
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06/27/09 10:32am |
RV Parks, National Parks, State Campgrounds & More
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RE: Letters from Son in Basic Training! VIDEO 10-6-09 (pg 16)
"I've now resorted to putting all my eggs, sausage, and hash browns on the bread and eating it that way. I can eat it a lot faster that way..."
LOL! To this day, I still eat breakfast that way!
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GreenSalsa
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06/26/09 07:43pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Letters from Son in Basic Training! VIDEO 10-6-09 (pg 16)
If you don't mind, I get a guilty pleasure out of reading your son's letters--they take me back 23 years ago to when I was in basic training--lots of memories.
Sounds like he will do fine. Does he know where he will be stationed after OSUT?
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GreenSalsa
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06/20/09 03:12pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Letters from Son in Basic Training! VIDEO 10-6-09 (pg 16)
Congrats!
What MOS is he training for?
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GreenSalsa
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06/07/09 03:15pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Very Sad Family News
Sorry to hear of your loss...
You advise to spend time with you loved ones and tell them how you feel is right on...
My family lost 3 of our parents over the course of 18 months, only my Dad is left. He just came and spent the Memorial Day Weekend with me--we looked at property to put a house on and planned a 30 day summer trip with him as we move from California to North Carolina.
Every time I get off the phone with him, I tell him "I love you". Some people have looked at me (Army Guy) as a little "weird" for such overt displays--but I don't mind--if I can tell my DOG that I love him--I can certainly tell my father the same.
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GreenSalsa
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05/28/09 05:39am |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Retired?!?!?!
Another military guy here with nearly 23 years in.
I could retire, but will continue working as an active duty guy (or a Army / Contractor civilian) until my youngest is 20.
Still having fun--traveling and shooting also...
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GreenSalsa
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05/25/09 07:45pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Blowover
Veebyes, sorry for your loss--I have a simular rig in size--definatly give us pause for thought in windy conditions.
Those pictures should be made into a sticky for those that ask if they can ride in the back of a fiver while moving...
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GreenSalsa
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05/18/09 08:57am |
Fifth-Wheels
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RE: Best age for Disneyworld
We bought a annual pass to DisneyLAND when my daughters were 3 and 5 when we moved to California and true, the girls enjoyed their times down there but could become overwhelmed by the crowds, waiting times, and ride closures.
Just a couple of months ago, we got a chance to sneak in for a 3 day visit and I saw a marked differance in my daughters attitude being 2 years older. At 5 and 7, they really seemed to get "more" out of the experiance.
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GreenSalsa
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05/15/09 08:58am |
RV Parks, National Parks, State Campgrounds & More
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RE: Stealth bomber
The unmanned technology is why I think the F-22 production was stopped at 200. The next generation will be flown by highly skilled video gamers playing Ender's Game without the casualties. The planes will be a lot cheaper too, as well as unlimited in terms of the g's they can pull, and they will carry a lot more stuff where the pilot used to be.
While I appreciate technology...I worry about it too! Just hope no-one ever develops the technology to "Jam" the unmanned fighters, or worse yet, spoof the technology and use our equipment on us.
I would feel MUCH better with REAL people above me pulling triggers...
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GreenSalsa
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05/12/09 03:28pm |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Dealing with aging mother
This post and the stories people are sharing is the reason I am purposely building a room (ground floor, seperate bath, no stairs) in our new home for my father. He will always have a choice where he wants to live--but that is my goal--giving him a CHOICE--his home, another sibling, my home, or a combination of the three.
I couldn't live with myself if he were left alone...
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GreenSalsa
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05/12/09 06:51am |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Home sites--50 amp question
Thanks all for the advise, websites, and suggestions. I will most likely put our rig "relatively" close to the house (50-75 feet), near a "grilling porch" and an external fireplace. The idea is that the RV will serve as the "Guest House" when we have visitors that can't stay in the spare room.
Right now there is nothing but trees on the land and the builder is VERY willing to put in all I ask for upfront--so I don't have to work around driveways, grass, sewer lines and such.
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GreenSalsa
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05/10/09 08:16am |
Tech Issues
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Home sites--50 amp question
Thanks for reading this.
I am in the process of leaving our life as full-timers and moving back into a stick house. I am in the process of buying land and working with a builder to construct the new custom built home.
Since we are avid RVers (who on this forum isn't?), I thought why not get a "home site" built now, so that we when we move from California to North Carolina, we can stay on our property and watch (supervise) the construction of the home.
The builder liked the idea and didn't see a problem--sewer will be done first, power will have to be present to construct the house and we are digging a well--alls well so far, here is the question.
Where can I point him to the EXACT specifications for our 50 amp service? Is it 220? 110? Where can I buy a "Campground" hookup box?
I am thinking of having him wire a 50, 30, and a couple of standard outlets so that when my OTHER RVing friends stop by, they can hook up depending on their needs.
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GreenSalsa
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05/09/09 04:20pm |
Tech Issues
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RE: tall 5er
what do you tall guys do about some of the local approach roads leading into some of these out of the way campgrounds
VERY carefully. I tend to do a lot of walking before driving in areas I am unfamiliar with. I haven't had a problem but here's crossing my fingers.
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GreenSalsa
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05/04/09 07:27am |
Fifth-Wheels
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RE: If you could only eat.....
http://www.sugarstand.com/images/sc/sc0084c.jpg
MMMM...
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GreenSalsa
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05/04/09 05:43am |
Around the Campfire
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RE: Stackable washer and dryer advice
We have both and LOVE the units. We can use both simultanously when we are hooked up to 50 AMP service--for our money and effort we reccomend them.
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GreenSalsa
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05/01/09 12:02pm |
Fifth-Wheels
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RE: $1.8 Billion loss good news?
Better than taking Government money...
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GreenSalsa
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04/24/09 07:51am |
Tow Vehicles
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RE: Mesa Verde - Tickets to Tours & Suggestions for Self-Guided
I believe the Spruce Tree Ruins are the only "self guided" tours available. That said, there is a Ranger there and they do prevent you from actually entering the ruins. You can see them from about 25-50 feet away and do some limited climbing. We did that, and walked petroglyph point trail for a mornings activity.
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GreenSalsa
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04/23/09 06:32am |
RV Parks, National Parks, State Campgrounds & More
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RE: Sequoia & Kings Canyon
Wonderful park--lots of bear sightings. Our family saw 12 bears in 3 days along the trails. Great idea to pack a lunch and eat it on the trail.
Be sure to climb Moro Rock and nearby hanging rock, get a picture of your vehicle going through the tunnel tree, tour Boyden cavern, hike crescent meadow, visit Tharp log home, and of course visit the largest living thing--the Sherman tree!
Really an awesome park!
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GreenSalsa
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04/20/09 09:40pm |
RV Parks, National Parks, State Campgrounds & More
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RE: Camping near Las Vegas!
Another vote for Oasis...we stayed there in March
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GreenSalsa
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04/19/09 08:31am |
RV Parks, National Parks, State Campgrounds & More
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