Last year my 15 year old son went over by more than 5,000 text messages in one month
* This post was
edited 03/28/08 05:45am by mike brez *
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You did the right thing. My DD has it on her phone and she checks how many she has left. It's fun to watch her sweat it on the last day and only has a couple left. She has had a phone since she was a freshman due to swim team and has never went over on anything. I got my bluff in early and it has stayed that way. When your DD gets her texting back someday, I am sure she will learn to monitor it now that she knows you mean business.
Not only have you punished her, but just think about the grief all her friends are going to give her, almost brings tears to you eyes.
I absolutely agree that you did the right thing. I firmly believe that you advise children of the consequence of their actions and then carry out that consequence if they fail to follow the rules. You have to make the consequence reasonable and doable. Like you can't tell they that you will ground them for life. You have to follow through every time or it will cease to be effective. I would further suggest that maybe you look at some way that she can earn the privilege back after an appropriate period of time. I bet she will be more responsible the second time around. I've had my son put himself in time-out for something that he did without me ever saying a word to him. I asked him about it later and his response was that he knew that I was going to put him in time-out, so he went ahead to get it over with.
By the way, the 7 YO son has already hit us up for a cell phone. After I got done laughing (on the inside), I let him know that he would not be getting a phone anytime soon. Yes, he does have friends in his class who have phones.
I have faith you and Greg are able to raise your children properly. So I will just add that you are her parents and whatever judgment call you make is the right one for your daughter. Whether she likes it or not, that's part of being a good parent!!!
Cat
(Jim just reads the forum once in a while)
Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle.... Live simply, love wholly, give generously, care deeply, speak kindly.
The only thing I would add is to make sure that now that she is not texting, that she keeps her phone charged. For me, I never had a problem keeping my phone charged when I would text my husband once or twice a day. (We needed to use texting because the service was intermittant where he was working - not good enough all the time for a phone call, but a text could make it through.) That was about the only time I ever used my phone, and it reminded me to keep it charged. (Also, at that time, I was using a Tracfone, where incoming texts were free and outgoing were 0.3 units. At the most, I would use 10 - 15 units a month on texting.)
I still have a pre-pay phone (T-mobile now), but I hardly use it any more as service where my husband is working has improved and he just calls me either at my work number or the home land line. Now I just get in trouble because I don't keep the phone charged. I just don't think about it until I need to use it!
If the phone is important so that it can be used for you to always be able to get in touch with her (and vice versa), make sure that she is keeping it charged.
I am totally in your corner, Julie. As soon as my daughter turned 18 I had her removed from our cell phone plan. She had gone over her texting limit too many times, even though she paid us back for it.I hate seeing money wasted. Now my daughter pays $80 a month for her own plan (she is a college student and waitress) when she could have still been on our plan for the just $10 a month!!
Julie
It is all your fault. You say you only warned her "over and over". Good parenting requires at least 4 "over and overs". lol
You did GOOD girl. Stick to your guns with her and she will be so much better for it.
After a good many years of cell phone use I finally found a company in Portland, OR that fits all "my" needs. (Consumer Cellular) Low price, no contract, good minutes for the money, low cost text messaging, can change program at any time without loss of minutes or additional cost. I did cancel the text messaging as I was getting 3 or 4 spams a week and I just don't text at all. They are a reseller of AT&T so have all the benefits of that company as far as reception or buying different phones when needed.
I did see on the news this morning that Cingular was coming out in the next 2 or 3 weeks with a GPS phone that will give you the position of someone else's phone right on your cell phone. i.e. you can turn on your phone and know exactly where your daughter is. I thought GPS was already in cell phones but I guess this is somehow different.
Ron
Ron, Linda and Charlie Dog
MADP 4301
Grand Cherokee Toad
I believe you did the right thing. A deal is a deal. However, a 13 year old will agree to anything to get a phone with text messaging.
When our age group was 13, we spent hours talking on the phone. Today, text messaging takes the place of this. I bet if our parents limited us at 13 to these kinds of limits, 90% of us would have gone over. Does not make us bad, only normal.
I will also bet than OVER 90% of today's 13 years olds would also have gone over the limits YOU set that she agreed to get the phone. Giving them a phone an setting strict limits on it usage is like asking an alcoholic to work in a bar without drinking. Impossible for most people.
Both of my boys have cell phones (17 and 12). They are not allowed texting or internet access on their phones. While I understand that when we grew up, cell phones were unnecessary, but times have changed. The cell phone is not for their friends to get ahold of them, but for us to communicate with them.
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