We met with the surgeon and urologist yesterday. We did not get the news we wanted, but we will have to face it and get this cancer taken care of.
The surgeon was very "shoot from the hip" No sugar coating any thing. DH has the option of trying chemo and radiation first, then, more likely then not, he would still have to have the surgery. He said if it was him, he would start with the surgery and then there is still the possibility of having to have chemo and radiation.
The surgery is the most extensive surgery they do at the OKC VA. He would remove the bladder, use part of the intestine to make a pouch for the bladder. Then reconnect the intestine back together. The surgery its self would last 7 to 10 hours. Followed by at least 10 days in the hospital.
The recovery will be long and hard. The surgeon said he has a very good chance of beating the cancer, it was just going to be a long hard battle. At one point DH asked how long he had with out the surgery, he told him 6 months and it would not be pretty.
He will have to see some specialist to make sure his other body systems can handle the surgery, he is most worried about the seizures. So, it will be around 6 weeks before the surgery. Some more hurry up and wait!
We did check into the RV Park, I forget the name, right down from Frontier City. He gave us a great weekly rate, but also found a nice little motel that will give us the same rate. It has a micro and fridge. Just will depend on if the kids can come and be with me, or if they can just spend the day of surgery and have to go home. They are going to try to arrange it so they can each take some time off and rotate who will be with me.
This is much harder to type then I thought it would be. My head is spinning, my heart is breaking and I have cried until my eyes are swollen. This morning I want to kick something. Hard, really hard.....but I KNOW our GOD will get us through this. We just have to hand it over to him.
We are meeting with our pastors after church on Sunday, they are good friends and just want to give us their encouragement.
DH daughter lives in KY and had planned on visiting after the surgery, I suggested they come before. And his son that lives in Iowa is going to come at the same time, but that is a surprise. DH has only seen him one time in 20 years. HE will be so excited. We talk, e-mail, text all of the time. Just don't get to see him.
Sorry this has been so long. I guess I needed to vent and what better place then to my friends here.
Please, keep my MIL and Mom in your prayers. They are both so scared. My Mom loves Skip as her own son, which is so cool. Even though my boys are grown, they love Skip so much and are rallied around him. They told him last night, they would fight right along with him and he could lean on them, but he had to fight. They are such fine young men. I m proud of them!
Cat, Julie....thanks so much for thinking of us. And.....for the prayers!
I'm so sorry you're going thru this. Cancer is such an ugly disease! You and your family are in our prayers. Hang in there, you'll find out just how strong you are. I've been in your shoes. Go ahead and find something to kick and scream your heart out. You can vent any time you want with us. I didn't let it out and I ended up having a heart attack after the fact......darn near destroyed myself! God bless you.
Dee & Bob
1990 Fleetwood Fifth Wheel
2 cats - Donner and Dasher
kids are grown and on their own
12 grandkids
life is good!!!!
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Oh sugar... I can only imagine how your heart must be aching right now. As you know we both have such awesome husbands that when I try to put myself in your shoes I too, am reduced to tears this morning. I know you were hoping for better news, so was I!
Please, please, please you can't let your fears over-ride your faith, hope, & love. Remember these are the strongest of all things our Father gives us.
You have the love of your family & friends. You have the prayers of so many going up for Skip. Add to that the faith you have to get through whatever comes your way in this life..... may all of these gifts combined give you the courage & strength you both need.
I am available any time you need to talk, pray, or need a shoulder. I will put your family on our prayer list at church this weekend.
Love ya sis!!
Cat
(Jim just reads the forum once in a while)
Our '04 Sunline T2499 & Silverado picture is on the profile page
Live simply, love wholly, give generously, care deeply, speak kindly.
Quote: This is much harder to type then I thought it would be. My head is spinning, my heart is breaking and I have cried until my eyes are swollen. This morning I want to kick something. Hard, really hard.....but I KNOW our GOD will get us through this. We just have to hand it over to him.
Oh goodness, I know EXACTLY what you mean! Go ahead and cry, dear. You need to be able to release the grief you are feeling right now. Unfortunately, when dealing with a serious cancer diagnosis, folks go through the same type of grieving process as when a loved one dies. First, the tears. Next the anger and finally, acceptance. You're working on the tears and anger right now and rightfully so. I remember a time, when Greg's transplant was put off, once again, because of other complications, I was SO angry! We were SO ready for the transplant to start . . . I just wanted to run around and scream and throw things!
I had a half-dead bush outside in the front yard that I had wanted to dig out for the longest time, and I was SO ANGRY that I went out there and just yanked on that poor bush with all my might, grunting and groaning until it pulled out of the ground and then I WHIPPED it across the yard with another grunt! My neighbors saw me flipping out and just knew something was wrong! LOL It felt SO good to release that pent up anger and frustration! What I'm getting at is that what you're feeling right now is perfectly normal.
It's definitely going to take some time for you both to get used to the idea of what is about to happen. I'll be quite honest here and I know you already know this, but it's not going to be easy. You need to surround yourself with friends and family who can help you through this. Remember, folks WANT to help! When they offer to help you, take them up on it!
You're going to discover some hidden strengths that you never knew you had. You WILL get through this and when all is said and done, you're probably going to wonder HOW you managed to do everything you did, but you WILL be able to do it. Trust me on that. When I look back on those transplant days, I often wonder how I held it all together, especially with three small children. You don't stop and think about it, you just DO IT.
Don't forget to take care of YOURSELF while all this is happening. Skip will have all his doctors and nurses taking care of him and making sure everything is going according to plan. While you will also be busy taking care of him, you also need to think about YOU. The caregiver is often the last person to think about caring for themselves. You won't be doing him or the family any good if you don't care for yourself as well. Greg always said that being the caregiver is much harder than being the patient. I believe him.
If you want to read some of what we went through during his month in the hospital, take a look here at Greg's Blog from his transplant: Greg's April, 2000 Blog Entries (it's VERY open and honest). I just re-read it and am amazed.
It's been almost eight years and we're still here, still kicking and still fighting, but we are able to say that he is CURED. It's a long, rough road you're about to travel down, but you'll both get through this, Jackie and one day you're going to look back and wonder how you ever managed, but you will. Trust me.
We'll pray that God wraps his loving arms around all of you and his doctors to get you through this.
If you ever need to talk or vent, I'm here. Send me a note, or better yet, call me at the store!
Jackie, I second everything Julie has said. My DH just finished a year's worth of chemo for a large brain tumor. You will get thru it by putting one foot in front of the other.
DH's tumor has shrunk, but it will never be gone and it isn't operable. None of us know what tomorrrow brings, but we have today together. Believe it or not, there are many blessings that have come from DH's illness.
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What I'm getting at is that what you're feeling right now is perfectly normal. 
