I'm just curious if anyone has or has had an adult child living at home? My only child - 24, moved home last summer; he had gotten out of the Navy, had no job etc. so I told him he could live with us, pay rent when he got a job and move later in the year.
He got a min wage job immediately while applying for better positions. Some months he could pay me and a few he couldn't cos of his bills etc.
In Dec 07 he landed a nice paying job. His wife was also in the Navy and came here in Feb - also jobless. He has been paying the same rent - not much at all but still the same paying what we agreed upon last summer. Now his wife has a good paying job too and all of a sudden he thinks we are bad parents for expecting him/them to pay rent...He tells me he knows of plenty of his friends that live with their parents for a while and pay no rent and not expected to pay. Granted they want to buy their own house but he agreed to pay rent last summer.
I just told him to go live with his friends and their families cos I expect him to be a responsible adult and pay his way. Jeesh, he is only paying me $250 a month total...which is dirt cheap in Austin cos we have the highest cost of living in the entire state of Texas!
Am I being a bad parent? What is the norm? I always paid my mom whenever I had to live with her and I was working full time. She never asked me to pay while I was going to school full time and working part time. Where does this sense of entitlement come from??
I'm baffled and it is causing a huge rift in the family...
Cheers, Tee
"Don't Take Life Seriously! It's Not Permanent!"
2002 Jayco Eagle 266 FBS "Our GO Toy!" Let's GO!
Austin, Texas
My adult son pays $300.00 per month for room rent. That does not include his groceries.
I am appalled at your son's attitude.....!! Put him on the defensive.....how about telling him you have checked into the going rate and it is $300.00 for one and $400.00 for two. (I checked) (food not included).
If he thinks it too much show him the door so he can get a realistic outlook on life. Make him feel the guilt since he is taking advantage of you.
They will only walk on you if you act like a rug.
Good luck, Andrea
Andrea and Rommel the large gentle Rottie
Inga, my 1989 Winnebago Class A 27 ft (454 P30) with 100,000+ miles and going strong!
My view is he should be paying rent and more if he is living at your house. If he can't pay you rent what makes him think he can make payment if he gets his own place? $250 is a bargain. You can't even get a single bdrm apartment w/ minimal amenities for that price. Plus, he get good home-cooked meals! You are not made of money and it is a contribution to pay for the utilities and other things around the house.
Once they grow up they should be responsible for themselves. They have good jobs now so they should be out the door and living on their own - none of this sucking up Mom and Dad's limited resources. They can save for a house while living on their own - lots of people do it! Sounds like an excuse to me and a fairly selfish one at that. They need to get out and quit trying to guilt-trip you! Or, conversely, sit down with them and show them how much they are costing you in food, utilities, etc. Make them draw up a realistic budget and pay their fair share of the costs. Then if they don't want to move out from beneath your feathered rears they will atleast not be such leeches!
A friend of mine's step daughter moved in with them last year. She was 34 I think. Anyways his utility bills alone (water, gas, electric) went up nearly $150. That doesn't include any food she ate or the places they drove her. The mom didn't want to charge her anything as she was "getting her life back together" which she's been doing for over fifteen years (another story). Anyways the step dad wanted to charge her but he lost out. I think its crappy to take advantage like that.
I'm only 38 right now and I moved out of the parents house when I was 18. I worked full time while in trade school and my brother floated me some money until I finished school. All of which I paid back with in a year and have been living on my own for twenty years now. Gone thru two divorces and some hard finacial times but always lived on my own.
I took in a roommate for a time. Agreed she would live with me at least a year and pay $300 rent. She paid a couple of months then it started. I'm broke, I"m this, I"m that. It made me freaking sick. She was milking every government hand out she could get. I wished I knew that before she moved in with me.
She ended up costing me more than it helped. I started looking again but my girlfriend said no. I couldn't have a roommate. We talked about it and I told her I either got one or she'd have to move in and help. She didn't want to at first but finally did and been together ever since.
I think your son should pay you rent. No frils $250-300 single $300-400 for both. If they want to eat your food, I"d add another $150-300 single/both.
I think it was great your son was in the Navy but please tell me he didn't learn this since of entitlement from them. I would expect more, much more from a serviceman.
If
TexasTreat wrote: ... My only child - 24, moved home last summer; he had gotten out of the Navy, had no job etc. so I told him he could live with us, pay rent when he got a job and move later in the year. ...
I'm all in favor of helping out our "kids" when they need it but as Ann Landers says, nobody can take advantage of you without your permission. It sounds like his "later in the year" has arrived, especially if his wife has a good job and they're both working.
Yes, I have one at home......me, and he won't move out....except when RVing for several months a year.
My older Brother tried to move in with Mom when he was 45 yrs. old to live free while attending medical school. Mom told him keep his job, apartment, and take care of himself while he went back to school. Sometimes a parent's tough-love is for our own good's.
I was back home for a while when I was in my late 20's. Didn't have to pay rent, but I picked up the tab for the utilities, bought my own food or ate out and took care of my Mom's yard work. She was more than happy with that and so was I. We both had it pretty good. Then I got married and moved in with another woman
We've let our adult children live at home rent-free as long as they were going to school. No school, move out or pay rent. Our oldest son stopped going to school so we told him to pay rent of $300 or move out. When he balked at that amount we told him that if he could find a better deal we would match it. Of course he couldn't so he started paying rent and we took the money and opened a savings account for him without his knowledge. When he finally regained his senses and went back to school, we stopped charging him rent and gave him the bankbook. We currently have 2 adult children living at home, both are full-time students.
Offline
Online
