i can remember when i got out of the air force in'66 and came back home.2 weeks later i had a full time job that i retired from 10 years ago.i was upset that my mom wanted $40 a month,remember,1966.jezz,how much could a 230 lb.6'3" kid eat.when i got married 6 months later and moved out she gave it back as a wedding present.
my kids did stay free at home as full time college.they worked and paid their own tuition.they are teachers with masters and a buss.owner.
if they are staying there just to avoid getting their own place,Do Not feel guilty introducing them to the real world.more parents should.just cause you can afford it doesn't mean it's right.you are doing them a favor they may understand someday.
Currently my 20 year old step daughter, married, mother of two moved home with husband and babies. He's in one of the construction unions doing custom houses and that's not exactly a booming business here in California. He is working side work and testing to be a police officer. So he's not exactly sitting on his butt.
She didn't graduate high school but is taking her GED as I type this. The DW and I are not charging them anything. They offered but I told them to save their money. I don't know how long this will last, so far there hasn't been any drama and it is nice to see my grandbabies most every day. Still, 7 of us live in a 1500 sq ft condo, so it is a bit cozy. I work nights which makes it more tolerable for me. There's a fine line between taking the high road and being taken advantage of.
Yep. 31, divorced year old dd and 2 grandsons and middle dd 26, just moved in last month. The oldest needs help adjusting to being single parent of a 6 and 14month old. Other dd just needs to be home to save money for awhile. They both work and contribute to the household. DH and I feel that as long as we can help we will. Both girls have plans to be on their own again.
JMHO, but I think all of us enable our kids. But if you enable them to much you ruin them. But on the other hand you want to help them get a start.
Your son is 24, married, no kids and both have good jobs. IMHO your flirting with the to much part.
My DD and GD moved home 18 months ago after bad relationship, she works part time and goes to school. Barely has enough money to keep her and daughter afloat. So charging rent? Could do it, but would be helping her on other bills so don't see how that would change the balance much.
Sometimes it seems easier to wean them off the bottle than to wean them off the money.
But I firmly believe as long as you keep giving they will keep taking. Good kid or not.
So I don't think maybe you're helping your son much. Because if you constantly bail them out they never learn and the money drain never ends. JMHO
But then again others will read my situation, and feel we are enabling our DD.
So who knows?
But my long term goal has always been, that they end up making wise choices, and become responsible adults. The question is how do we get them to that point.
Good luck. And I think a little blood letting now is much better than 30 years of enabling and a worthless kid in the end. JMHO
macira wrote: Someone told me that when your kids turn 18, you should send them to the movie, change your name and move to Montana!
Hey! We resemble that remark!
That's what mine did. When I went off to college, they up & moved from Texas to California. Took me a year or so to find them. After I found them, they then moved off to Washington DC. Took me another few years to find them. Then they moved off to Tennessee, but I was able to find them right away...
macira wrote: Someone told me that when your kids turn 18, you should send them to the movie, change your name and move to Montana!
When I graduated from high school, my parents got me a suitcase for a graduation gift (i.e., a hint that I was to move out of the house). I think I will keep up the tradition with my kids.
Too funny. You have very smart parents with great a great sense of humor.
When our oldest son graduated from H.S. he found a good job and said he couldn't wait to get out on his own. Of coarse he had been saying that since he was 17.
A few months after he graduated I told him he needed to pay $25 dollars a week for rent. That included food, laundry and house keeping.
Anyway, he turned 18, then 19 and when he still lived at home by the time he was nearly twenty, we told him it was time for him to find an apartment or pay more rent. He and his best friend found an apartment and both his friend's mom and I helped the (boys) get set up.
It wasn't long before he let us know how much he appreciated all the we had done for him the couple of years since he graduated. His comment was, gosh darn (not his exact words), its expensive to live on my own.
Helping your kids is one thing, but letting them turn into sponges won't help them deal with life imo..
Barb
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its expensive to live on my own.
