Checking back in with this forum is quite interesting. Rereading "Sneakers145" post at 5:37p on 10/21 has a statement that seems dangerous. In it he wrote "And kids can only truly learn moderation when they have been allowed to experiment with excess." They might not have a second chance when experimenting with excess drink (liquor), speed, and drugs. I hardly believe that a responsible parent who values their children would give unlimited access to all things. It is our responsibility to set limits...may seem old school to you but not to many.
I agree with many statements made by "resmas".
Most of the things "sneakers145" said his son was learning from games can and have been learned through the years by other means when all the technology wasn't available. I do agree that our children will have to deal with technology on a daily basis, I just don't agree that games in themselves are truly beneficial.
We are raising a generation of young people that cannot communicate in a one on one, face to face conversation and usually resort to one word responses.
Yes knowing technology can have its merits but don't close your mind to its dangers. Next time you are out, count the people on their cell phones while driving (we have had 2 teenages and 1 68yr old killed within 15 miles in the last month from using cell phones while driving) and unfortunate excess.
I strayed there, but as "resmas", I feel strongly about gaming. It can become an addiction and stimulates the part of the brain that causes addictions, whether is be drinking, drugs, tobacco or eating.
When I was young I had some friends who did not have a TV in there house.. They felt very strongly about the dangers of TV. When ever these guys would come to our house to visit they parked it in front of the TV and would not budge. After I figured this out I would just go to their house and visit. I could not see the infatuation. I believe it was because I was not sheltered from it. The same thing happened in other aspects of their lives as well. When they went to college they turned into quiet the party guys.
I am sure they out grew it but the initial release from under the thumb of their parents was interesting to witness.
sneakers145 wrote: As do I.
You may not see the value in gaming, but your kids do. You are not them; they are not you.
Things my son has learned from gaming:
a) hand/eye coordination
b) learning problem solving skills, trial and error; perseverence - games are difficult and hard to master
c) Increased his vocabulary, reading comprehension, writing and spelling; also began to read complex game manuals to learn new strategies to play.
d) Keyboarding skills
e) Math, geometry, algebraic thinking
f) social skills, etiquette, cooperation and team play, was part of several online guilds and talked with guild-mates during the game
g) Geography, world landmarks, map reading skills, reading coordinates, terrain, etc.
h) html code and programming
i) exposure to foreign languages and cultural differences
j) laws of physics and motion, auto mechanics
k) spatial relationships and spatial reasoning
l) military strategies and history, and questions of morality
m) setting up online auctions, similar to ebay. Learning about supply, demand, economics, and pricing
These are the main ones off the top of my head, I'm sure there are more.
If they are “off the top of your head”, professional education needs your input! These descriptions can readily be found in most "certified" course curricula and they are commonly used in professional education as part of course descriptions.
It's ludicrous to use them to justify teenage video game time/application unless their motor skills or cognitive abilities aren't developed properly.
I am 'in' education and we are required every year to sit through boring, tedious, irrevelent inservices. One though, stuck in my head.
Starting about oh, 30 years ago -- when technology first came into being -- 'they' started making baby toys differently. Think about all those boxes that hang on baby's crib. Or the mobiles that twirl above them. Or those play structures that you lay them under and their feet bat at swinging things.
Lights flash, buzzers buzz, things move, songs play. Later on, toys' buttons, when pushed, cause different electronic effects.
FROM BIRTH, kids now are surrounded by electronics. In the crib, they get stimulation and rewards from pushing buttons, batting at things, or just rolling around in their crib.
Scientists have found that children's brains today are developing differently than children's brains did, say 45 years or more ago. The buzzing, beeping, flashing lights and sounds activity boxes and toys are causing kids' brains to be 'wired' for those kind of responses.
One reason why your children intuitively can pick up an electronic gadget they've never seen before and usually make it work better then you can.
I don't remember the studies that were cited, but I'm sure you could look it up. However, this all made sense to me & helped us educators understand why 'drill and grill' wasn't going to work anymore!
carmichael wrote: Checking back in with this forum is quite interesting. Rereading "Sneakers145" post at 5:37p on 10/21 has a statement that seems dangerous. In it he wrote "And kids can only truly learn moderation when they have been allowed to experiment with excess." They might not have a second chance when experimenting with excess drink (liquor), speed, and drugs.
I'd rather they learn to make decisions at home regarding things they can, and make mistakes BEFORE they are the age where their decisions have more dire consequences.
My kids have been making important decisions about their own lives since they were young; consequently they have learned over the years how to make good decisions. Contrary to popular opinion, allowing kids to make their own decisions doesn't mean they do whatever the heck they want 24/7 with no guidance or input. It didn't mean I let my kids as toddlers play in traffic. But it does mean that I let my kids choose what and when to eat, and how much; they can choose to play video games or watch TV when and if they want, etc. They learned that too many cookies made them not feel good. It also means that I can fill the pantry with cookies and they no longer eat them to excess. They can self-limit. My son did go through a phase where he played some difficult video games to excess. But he now hardly plays, and instead chooses to skateboard, practice target shooting, play with his RC cars, or watch WWII documentaries.
I may have different ideas about parenting, but because I choose to trust my kids and their choices doesn't mean that I'm not involved in what they're doing or giving any guidance or input.
In college I noticed that the kids who were tightly controlled at home growing up were the ones more likely to engage in drinking to excess and risky behaviors than those of us who weren't as tightly controlled. Like the other poster who noted that her TV-deprived friends glued themselves to a TV whenever they saw one. Putting something off limits, or severely limiting it, like video games, makes it more valuable than if they can play until they themselves tire of it.
I have links to some studies about gaming but I'm sure you can find equal ones to disprove them, so we'll have to agree to disagree.
Our kids have DSs and one has a laptop. They can be used in transit, in the morning until we (dh and I) get up, or in lousy weather. The same goes for movie watching. It's never been an issue.
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carmichael wrote: Checking back in with this forum is quite interesting. Rereading "Sneakers145" post at 5:37p on 10/21 has a statement that seems dangerous. In it he wrote "And kids can only truly learn moderation when they have been allowed to experiment with excess." They might not have a second chance when experimenting with excess drink (liquor), speed, and drugs.
I'd rather they learn to make decisions at home regarding things they can, and make mistakes BEFORE they are the age where their decisions have more dire consequences...
Do you advocate or allow underage drinking within your household?
Quote: Do you advocate or allow underage drinking within your household?
My relationship with my kids is very open and honest. We talk a lot about all sorts of stuff, including alcohol, drugs, addictions, etc. Nothing is taboo. Both kids comfortable asking me anything, and I'm comfortable saying exactly how I feel about the topic. That started when they were very young.
Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs or any other sticky subject: it's the whole forbidden fruit thing. Forbid it, and you can rest assured that they will try it. Ban it, and you're setting yourself up for failure. Talk about it, make it a regular part of your discussions, and be open and honest, and not only will your children not hide it if they try it, they may not try it at all.
Do I advocate or allow underage drinking? No, I don't advocate anything illegal. Since nobody in the house drinks, it hasn't been an issue. So far neither kid has any desire to try drugs because their lives aren't full of doors marked Forbidden. Both kids have sipped beer and wine at family gatherings when they were younger and didn't like it.
Forbidding alcohol won't stop them from trying it. Knowledge of alcohol's benefits AND hazards, along with open, honest communication goes a long way in helping them decide for themselves if they want to try it. I don't think the goal should be that your children never try drugs/cigarettes/alcohol, but that they're smart about it and get their questions answered truthfully.
"sneakers145" It seems that threads running throughout your posts are ambiguous in places. Can't quite figure the direction you are going in, but that's okay.
I'm sure that others who have chimed in here who have decided to put limits on game playing or not allowing games at all also have open and honest relationships with their children. I was open and honest when I made the decision to take the games away..and simply stated that I was tired of the frustration I was seeing in their faces when they couldn't get to the next level which in turn caused a myriad of consequences which were not acceptable.
I believe that the hallmarks of good parenting are to oversee the growth and development of our children and to set limits when we feel the necessity to do so. I was forbidden to do things by my parents but I didn't go wild when I did leave home and I have nothing but the utmost respect for my parents to this day.
I will not let my children do whatever they want in excess. That being said I realize that we all parent in different ways and I also know that both of us will one day have to face heartache from a decision our children have made, but while my children are home, I am still the PARENT.
"sneakers145" It seems that threads running throughout your posts are ambiguous in places. Can't quite figure the direction you are going in, but that's okay.
I'm sure that others who have chimed in here who have decided to put limits on game playing or not allowing games at all also have open and honest relationships with their children. I was open and honest when I made the decision to take the games away..and simply stated that I was tired of the frustration I was seeing in their faces when they couldn't get to the next level which in turn caused a myriad of consequences which were not acceptable.
I believe that the hallmarks of good parenting are to oversee the growth and development of our children and to set limits when we feel the necessity to do so. I was forbidden to do things by my parents but I didn't go wild when I did leave home and I have nothing but the utmost respect for my parents to this day.
I will not let my children do whatever they want in excess. That being said I realize that we all parent in different ways and I also know that both of us will one day have to face heartache from a decision our children have made, but while my children are home, I am still the PARENT.
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