RangerJay
Northern Ontario
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We've got two great kids - but didn't start leaving them alone till they were 16. They are now responsible adults - each struck out on their own well over a decade ago - maybe closer to 2 decades - and we're just now starting to hear their stories about what went on when we were away ......
Jay
2002 Bambi 19' - the "Toaster"
2009 Nissan Pathfinder - the "Buggy"
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jwblock
Sussex Wisconsin
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If your daughter is mature enough to stay home alone, then she is also mature enough to abide by what is your decision to make as the "parent". She either goes camping with you or stays with Mom. End of conversation, do not negoitate with her safety. She has the rest of her life to be an adult, make sure she gets that chance.
Next year you can post about your daughter not being able to get off work. I can help with that problem!
Please note, I never said your daughter was not trustworthy. Now would be a good time to pull out some baby pictures of her. You are the parent, they never said it would be easy.
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rolling_rhoda
South Dakota
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Didn't read all 7 pages, so this might be a repeat:
Does she have a friend at whose house she could spend the night?? Do you?? Perhaps you have a female co-worker who would sleep over with her, like from 9 PM until morning.
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JayWalker2009
I'm not really a
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downtheroad wrote:Lots of experience with this in my profession. She is a youngish minor (15). Today's world, I wouldn't leave her alone..If it goes bad, you will never forgive yourself...not worth it.
Mom (your ex) sounds like a logical bet...or take her.
I go with this. My daughter didn't want to go at 15 either. However, she either went, or I found a suitable place for her to stay with responsible adults who vouched to look after her. If something happens and she was knowingly left home alone, 1) you will never forgive yourself and 2) you will be guilty of negligence in the eyes of the law, as she is a minor.
Now I won't say I never left my 15 year old home alone, but not overnight. Just short stints. And not because I thought she wanted to be a party animal, just because there are too many things that could happen.
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JayWalker2009
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boogie_4wheel wrote:My parents left me alone for up to a week (and I would bet even longer at times) when I was about that age. I can remember by the time I was 12 I stayed home alone (28 now). By 14 it was multiple days/nights. On top of that I had my chores; parents are rodeo people and I had to feed horses morning & night. I talked to my parents every night on the phone.
I think the key is that you can trust your child fully, just like my parents did with me. I was afraid to screw up. I didn't party, ever, but that didn't keep me from having 1 or 2 friends over. I can remember like an hour ago my parents telling me not to say anything about them going out of town, just so it didn't get around that less people (or nobody) would be at the house.
When my little girl gets up in age (only 1yo now) I don't think I would worry about leaving her home alone, only if I trust here. Many years of prior actions and decision making on her part would determine my decision.
I think that you are projecting your own situation and making it fit the OP. You cannot in any safe way shape or form tell her that because you were left alone at 15 without incident, that the same will happen with her daughter. You are stating it, like it is fact. NOt to mention the many years passed since you were that age. This isn't the same world that you grew up in.
I was also left alone at that age, and luckily I didn't encounter an emergency. But, that doesn't mean my parents were right for leaving me alone for any length of time like that. I also had horses to feed morning and night, I can't see how that makes a 15 year old any less apt to face a dangerous situation when home alone a few days.
Even if let's say all of her friends are sweethearts and angels, with today's information super highway, and the naivety of teenagers with what they share online thinking it is "private", there will still yet be others near them who might 'not' be their friend who pick up on this. I have so many teen nieces and nephews, and they are great kids, but it baffles me how willingly they share their goings on, on sites like facebook. They just really don't know how easy it is for someone to get this information. It doesn't even take an experienced hacker. Teenagers are probably as savvy as hackers these days when it comes to circumventing websites. Nothing should ever be assumed private that is shared with others via the internet. THis is not 1979. And even if a 15 year old "Could" make the right decision when faced with an emergency, they shouldn't willingly be put into the situation to have to do that.
When it comes to minors, I do not find it negative to assume that the worst could happen and take precautionary measures. That is being responsible. It's called being a parent.
* This post was
edited 05/14/12 08:36pm by JayWalker2009 *
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DE88ROX
West Michigan. The other West Coast
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Dw wife and I would go visit friends at their cottage. Tell the daughter that we'll be home later. Then we would call about 11:30-midnight to tell her we're not coming home until the next day. To late for her to really plan anything by that time. heehehe.
If you trust your daughter leave her be. Tell her its a test and your hoping that she doesn't break that trust. Do you have any nosey neighbors that will rat her out if she is doing something shes not suppose to be doing?
I know how it feels. I have two girls (both engaged as of late) so I like to think I have some experience dealing with the female species.
Its also nice to know that my girls always liked hanging out with mom and dad. Both plan their summer vacations around our two week camping trip in July. Youngest is even driving back from Philly just to camp. I have never had them say "they didn't want to go"
Nice to know that camping has played such a big part in their lives and that they will have those memories forever!
* This post was
edited 05/17/12 07:22am by DE88ROX *
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DE88ROX
West Michigan. The other West Coast
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bigred1cav wrote:Never, a 15 year old any 15 year old in not mature enough to make the adult decisions necessary to stay alone for any period of time more than a few hours.
Both my Daughters were babysitting for others when they were 15. Even younger!
I guess every parent as well as the child in question is different.
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bigred1cav
ohio
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DE88ROX wrote:bigred1cav wrote:Never, a 15 year old any 15 year old in not mature enough to make the adult decisions necessary to stay alone for any period of time more than a few hours.
Both my Daughters were babysitting for others when they were 15. Even younger!
I guess every parent as well as the child in question is different.
You ignored the "few hours."
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dieharder
Ottawa, ON
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Although I would not be comfortable leaving my 14YO daughter alone, I have known people to leave their child alone for a week or two while on vacation south since she was 13 and she didn't want to go. Only you know whether your child is mature enough and able enough to handle the responsibility, not other people on an internet message board.
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Mitchellg
St.Louis
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When I was 15(almost 15 years ago), my parents left town for 3 months. They went 300 miles away, and mailed me cash for food.
I survived. Had one hell of a good summer too. Just thinking about that summer makes me happy. They came home and the only thing wrong with the house was a 1/2" burn on the front door rug. Man that was a good summer.
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