*Still, this begs the question: if one can climb ladders, walk distances, ride a motorcycle, or do other similar activities, why do they need a special handicap camping site? Educate us on this, please. "
Right on Serena in your analysis so let's add some more. I was in a fire and explosion which ruptured 6 discs and did considerable tissue, nerve and muscle damage. The first question the spine surgeon, perhaps the most famous spine surgeon in the world, asked me was can I ride a bike, I answered yes. He asked if I could do so for some distance and answered yes. He was not surprised, most his patients respond affirmatively - pre and post op.
This does not mean that I can walk very far especially when I have to carry something. We also want to get back, two way transportation. I received the DP plates from the CA DMV. They made my tempoary request permanent because the surgery was permanent. A year later 4 more vertebrae were fused, permanently, Without the surgeries I would have died since slowly nerves were degenerating and dying resulting in the loss of organ function. For example I have lost 30% function in both kidneys.
Now who is to say just how much discomfort I am supposed to endure or if I do choose to endure discomfort is that not my choice to do so without ridicule and when enough is enough.. I endured 21 2 - 3 hour debreidments without the benefit of anesthesia. That does not mean I should ever have to endure another or the pain equal to a single debreidment.
Walking is often near impossible but I can ride - often with considerable discomfort but also with considerable joy. There is a list of disabilities prepared by SS. I worked for 10 years with 8 fused vertebrae and considerable permanent nerve damage. I could have been declared parmanently after the fire but chose not to. 6 fused vertebrae and SSDI says you are permanently disabled, I had 8 and worked that way for 10 years.
Oh, I also have systemic Lupus and am very light and sun sensitive and then there is cold induced urticaria, I am allergic to cold. Now I can hide in the dark in a closed room but I choose not to and I endure the consequences. In '98 I had another 4 surgeries in one year, 3 for for SLE related arthritic conditons - a total of 15 and I was working but... both my thumbs were now fused surgically and both joints in a pinkie.
I worked in the petroleum and environmental industry and I was becoming a huge liability. They no longer allowed me offshore etc. since I would not be able to save myself I put others at risk. But I can climb that ladder and I can ride the MC and I do but SS took only 8 weeks to declare me permanently disabled. It was time.
I have DP plates on the MC and I now teach part time at a local college two nights a week. This is better for me on the mental side than is bad for me on the physical and mental sides. I am not in a flair. But I can not walk around the block without sitting down and when I have to sit I have to sit wherever it may be. I can not carry something in front of me very long. When I am walking outside and go into a store I have young people open the door for me and often clerks ask if I am all right, I am just adjusting. I also always carry an epi pen and a candy bar. And please don't mention the word flair for which you not know of what you speak and what it can do to me or to others.
I often amaze doctors by what I can do and that is fine. Your description has only to do with 3 items, a ladder, motorcycle and walking and from that you make huge judgements. One thing I do is pace pace pace, something I can do because I make the time and because our lives depend upon it so we can climb that ladder or ride that MC. So when I am on the MC and park in a DP spot I do so because for that day and for that time I have endured enough and I take advantage of what I can.
I never judge wether others should be in those spots. I never judge how much pain someone is in or might be in. We all have our own methods for coping and for doing because most of us no matter what our disability want to live to our fullest even it it involves considerable discomfort.
Sorry 'bout the poor writing, though. Am in bed today. Have been since Friday night. Woke up today and couldn't walk, pretty brain-fried. Had to climb stairs because (another good laugh) the laundry room is 3 blocks away and up stairs. Scooters are 'not allowed' on the handicap ramp so thoughtfully built there with the small switchbacks suitable for...baby strollers? Crutches, maybe? Wiped out, hadda go home and lay down between loading washer and drying. Went back, scooter dies in parking lot. Tried to kick start the scooter, but didn't work. Nice passerby with stroller on ramp (hah!) tried, couldn't do it, either. That meant I had to walk 3 blocks to my site. It was definitely a 'pay later' rather than a 'pay now' sitch. I knew I'd pay, just didn't know how hard.
Worked on scooter next day. Was not strong enough to get her going again, but managed to check battery and air filter before packing it in. Decided renting a car with remaining energy was a safer bet at that point, since the warranty service point is 30 miles from here and I didn't have the strength left to undock and rack the bike for the trip. Went to rent the car and they left me standing at the counter too long.
I couldn't possibly have stopped this altogether, all things considered. But could've mitigated somewhat. I did not request an accessible space (shoulda!), and decided not to 'break the rules' and ride up the ramp (woulda!), didn't raise holy hell at Enterprise when they refused my rental because I was out of state and brought a VISA debit card instead of a credit card they didn't specifically request(coulda!). They dumped me at Budget. Now I have no idea how I will return the rental from the other agency. But I was brain-fried by then, and across town without my own vehicle.
I knew I was pushing dangerously hard. Didn't know I'd run into just one too many contingencies and get blown out of the game altogether like this. Without that car rental, I'd be sunk for now. No groceries, no prescription refills, no nothin'. (Thanks, Enterprise. See how soon you get my business again.)
Soon as I can, I will go back up on the roof and finish the caulking I had started but couldn't finish. Still gotta get that scooter running again too, so we'll see. Still - I gotta laugh, because I know this bout really got started a couple of weeks ago when a friend drove me somewhere, thinking it was 'good' for me to 'get out and about'. My friend "doesn't like to take up the handicap spots" and left me standing around repeatedly. He's totally good people, but totally doesn't get it.
So, my choices came down to A) fighting every step of the way with all comers to defend myself and my needs BEFORE it all came crashing down; or B) shoot for the path of least resistance and hope for the best. I chose B. I don't always. But I was wrong this time. Very, very wrong. I lose. OTOH, nobody I encountered thinks I am a handicap spot abuser, and nobody got treated to my 'bad attitude' or sense of 'entitlement' - barring a couple of people on other threads here who got treated to a couple of fairly cynical jabs.
And I still feel ok about having made the effort, even though I came up so wrong on it this time. The one thing that really rankles is another thing that happened a couple of weeks ago. A neighbor (at another location) had an ambulance come in. I dropped by later to see how things were going. It was an old guy. He blew his knee out. I sat down to rest. He and the wife sat and talked trash about malingerers and abusers to me (naming 3 other neighbors specifically - wrong on all three counts). They went on about how they had worked hard on the farm all their lives no matter what...while they proceeded to get drunk as usual in preparation for lunchtime - which is really how he blew out his knee in the first place. My own handicap tag was clearly visible from their front window, and had been for more than a month. I only sat down to rest, but my ability to rise and leave had been mysteriously sucked out and replaced with slack-jawed amazement at what I was witnessing.
True story. And yet, I'm the one with the bad attitude. So. You know. You laugh or you cry. Cuz just shaking your head and rolling your eyes just hurts too much.
While at a major hospital last summer they automatically sent me to a shrink.
She asked me a question and I tried to answer her. Too much detail, we only have an hour she stated.
Her next question floored me..."Have you ever killed anyone?" I was speechless (which some would say is an improvement in my personality
I thought a second, then looked at her and told her, "Not in Colorado". Now she was speechless. We started talking about other things and she left me alone. She knew I had several hundred days in Sunny South East Asia, enlisted and officer. I don't know why, but she crossed a line and I didn't like it. What would YOU say?
My daughter is one of the VA people who assign ... what is the word.. benefits? Disabilities? She told me I have PTSD. My wife has a degree in Psychology and reads people pretty well. She agrees. So I guess I might. Who knows...
Unresolved Mental Issues would have been a good one to work into the conversation.
Sometimes it pays to say something so shocking others don't know what to think, they leave you alone. I think your answer was very appropriate.
I was evaluated by both the MD and Psych. for SSDI and they both tried to put me on the line but I just did my thing and was who I was. For the shrink it was kind of shocking, they had info from a burn survivors group I attended and I disturbed that shrink very much too.
Why do others need to understand or critique why we choose to do something? There are a lot of severe health and mental issues out there for many reasons. Some people want us to fit in to their stereotype and when we refuse they immediately judge in spite of their ignorance. I agree with Serena about push push push but then you also need to have to learn how to pace pace pace.
I can't get into anyones head here about what their state of mind, health or level of pain is and further I don't want to. If someone is disabled and wants to climb the RV ladder the more power to him. Same goes if they want to use the DP parking. I am not going to judge that person, or wonder about that person for what they choose to do or not to do. Further I am not going to compare my disability and what I can do or think I can do to what they are doing. I shall never say I am the most disabled but I will say I am the most abled, with some restrictions. I also shall not enable disabled persons,
If you are looking into disability private message me and I will give you some of the guidelines I know about. I was disabled for both Psych and health reasons.
When I do meet an individual who does spout I love to play the game. I had back surgery - me too, I had a slipped disc - me too, I had a ruptured disc - me too, I had 4 ruptured discs - me too, I have atrophy in my leg - me too, I have metal rods, me too, metal plates - me too, 10 operations - me too, 6 screws - me too, months in a hospital - me too, diabetis - me too, pacemaker - me too. And it goes on and on but usually I can keep going and going but then there is one thing I have they do not have and that is two discharges saying I am normal and well.
You have a good day, climb that ladder.
* This post was
edited 05/18/08 05:17pm by an administrator/moderator *
Just got back from a nice long camping trip. At a KOA with absolutely no handicap facilities. And a very rude manager who, when asked if any of the bathhouses were easier to enter than the one near our trailer, replied that the campground was 30 years old, so it doesn't have any accessible ones. I was gonna ask why in 30 years they hadn't had time to put in one ramp, but he was so rude to everyone in every way (not just us) that it wouldn't have been worth it. Oh, and we got by OK without any special facilities.
But I got thinking about this thread, and how no one has really answered the original question. Many posters have gotten bent out of shape defending their own disability, even that was not questioned. But no one has answered why someone who does not NEED a specific handicap accomodation, such as a paved camping site or handicap parking at the store, feels free to use it? People are going to great lengths to state that every handicap is different, yet they can't see that the needs for each handicap are different, too. As I stated, paraplegia should not qualify one for a TDD, nor should deafness qualify for a handicap parking space. But I guess it is hard for some people to get outside of their own concerns enough to think of others, and how their actions affect someone else. Although, I am sure the ones who don't care if they inconvenience others would be very willing to complain loudly and long if someone else inconvenienced them. That was the essence of the original question: why take what you don't really need? And that does not mean you can't use accomodations if you do truly need them. No one is taking away your rights.
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