PRT wrote: Don't get the reasoning route myself.
Mother - Now you really don't want to color on the wall, do you sweetie?
Me (grandma) - as I take crayons away - Stop it and stop it now!!
Plus - I keep the crayons.
I would "reason" in that example:
I would on the first time I saw them writing on the wall say, "Do not color on the wall or I will take the crayons away and you will have to clean the wall."
If the kids stops writing on the wall, the kid gets to keep the crayons (but they still have to help clean off the wall). If the kid does not stop (or this is the second offense), the kid loses the crayons, had to clean the wall, AND is given some other punishment (usually some age appropriate sort of work around the house).
Sorry, Doug. Disagree on that. I have four grown children and ten grandchildren and believe if anyone walks into this house that they color on paper only. Once I hand a child a crayon or a box of them and paper I certainly tell them that crayons are used only on paper - or else.
Funny, we actually set up a wall where they could color (with chalk). Once you have laid the ground rules, the kids should follow them. In my example (which was based on a prior example), I assumed I had not told them to NOT color on the walls (or said they could ONLY color on the paper). Young kids need detailed, simple, and concrete rules to follow. I would usually give them ONE pass, but after that, the rules were followed (including the consequences of violating the rules).
I never negotiate with children....their little minds can't wrap around that kind of discussion. I state the rules and they follow them or they leave.....yes, even my own! LOL Seriously, I DO have people that come over with children. From the time I had my first home, I would see the child do something they shouldn't do, I would stop the child and inform the parent AND child that it is unacceptable behavior in my home. I also tell them I will discipline them the same way I discipline my own children. If the parents don't like it, they can leave, I don't want terrorists in my home anyway. As for grandchildren.....I have 11 and I have no problem with them following the rules.
"I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose"
Dee & Bob
1990 Fleetwood 5er
2 cats - Donner and Dasher
12 grandkids
I don't have grandchildren but I do have 4 kiddos. I'm also the oldest of 5 kids, my parents have 12 grandchildren. My children have always understood that coloring is for paper only. To me it's logic and odly enough, we, as children NEVER wrote on walls and neither did any of mine.
My paternal grandmother had 40 grandchildren and do you think that any of us would even contemplate touching or demolishing anything at all in her house? No way!
My parents are also kind and loving grandparents but there's no way that any of the grandchildren can lip them off or demolish anything in their house. They just won't stand for it. Out of the 12 there are 3 (not mine but from they're siblings from the same family lol)that can be a problem but they are always warned to behave.
Parents/Grandparents
4 Kids
Girl 21, boy 18, boy 15, girl 6
2007 Chevrolet Suburban 3/4 ton
2006 Outback by Keystone 31RQS
Hensley Hitch
Prodigy brake controller
Can't decide wrote: Three year olds are an absolute delight. Exhausting, but a delight. What's there to negotiate?
I am sooo happy that my (once) 3 yr old grand daughters, are now 16 and 18. At these ages, they ARE a delight.
2001 Chev. 3500 CC Duallie, D/A, 20.5 Pullrite Super 5th, Roll n Lock, StarBoards, Firestone Air Bags, TTT Mirrors, BrakeSmart.
2004 HitchHiker Discover America 33 1/2 CKQG, Disc Brakes, Mor/Ryde IS
Garmin Nuvi 350
My father and mother had a set of rules that kept everyone on the straight and narrow. We received rewards for almost everything that we did, i.e. our tush didn't meet the switch over the door. My oldest daughter is very permissive and has little terrorists, except when they are around me. My youngest is in the Military and we accuse her of having recruits, not children, and they are extremely well behaved and have manners. By the way, the youngest is raising her children with my parents rules.
Corky, Gracie, and the Herd
HR Imperial DP
Jeep Liberty
It is really very simple. You can:
1. child-proof your house
or
2. House break your children
If you do number one, you will never be able to trust your children in anybody else's house, and you may not be welcome in anybody else's house with your children.
If you do number two, your kids will never be a problem anywhere.
The choice, as always, is yours.
By the way, I raised 5 kids, and have 12 grandchildren, and at least one great-grandchild. My kids were all house-broke.
My grandkids? Well, let's just say I love them, but sometimes I don't particularly LIKE them!
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