I anticipated the giant dog-shaped hole that will be in my heart, as my beloved Aussie gets on in years; so 4 years ago, we got Jimmy. I totally understand your wife's need to have a dog, even as she grieves for Charlie.
When people remark that 3 dogs (ours) seems like a lot - I explain that we have 7 kids and are used to a certain level of chaos. Since the kids are adults and on their own now, we have dogs :-)
Awwww....I feel so bad for both of you. I know what it's like losing a beloved pet. The pain you feel is indescribeable. He/she is like your child and part of the family. I say if your wife needs to get another Sheltie to love and care for, to ease her pain - let her get one. And take one day at a time. Don't worry about you out-living the pet. That dog will be loved and have a good life, no matter what. Yes, we women are emotional creatures and DO think and feel from our hearts more than from our heads. That's the Mars/Venus thing. Condolences for the passing and Best Wishes and Happiness with your new one!
Adopting another pet is a fine way to honour a pet's memory. We continually honour our dearly departed pets by rescuing more pets. How wonderful it is to know that the feelings and depth of love we receive from our pets compels us to continue living with pets.
When our 18-month-old Tazz tragically died during our 2010 RV trip to Alaska, it was emotionally devastating. DH still cracks a tear now & then, two years later. Yet, we both knew that as heartbroken as we were, we would be adopting again. The first Monday of our return I was at the shelter and came home with Kodi. Two months later Ursa joined our family. We still miss our whirly-girl Tazz, and big old Jake (who died 6 months before Tazz) and often talk of the many good & happy times we had with them. Yet, we also really enoy the new memories we are creating with Kodi & Ursa.
sue t.
Pictures from our manyRV Adventures to Yukon & Alaska
Travelling with either the 25' fifth wheel or the 8' truck camper.
When we lost our Dalmatian, Bogey, after 11 years my wife said no more dogs as losing him was so painful. For 14 months she stuck to her guns but unbeknownst to me she began to have second thoughts. She spoke with friends about it but never let me know she was changing her mind. Being a very organized type she made out a list; "My next dog will be: Not a barker, shedder, easy to walk etc., etc.. On Xmas eve she surprised me with the news that she was ready for another pooch.
We had discussed rescuing a Greyhound so I immediately went to the website and a week later we brought Millie home. We had nearly 100 dogs to choose from but we bonded with her immediately. When Greyhounds are taken off the track and sent to Rescue for placement they change their names as they are giving them a whole new life. Six weeks later we got a package from Arizona Greyhound Rescue with Millies racing history and her racing name was.... "Wish List".
My bride cried because she knew we had gotten the right dog. Millie has healed most of the hole in our hearts left by Bogey and filled our lives with joy. If you can care for another dog (financially, emotionally etc.), there are few things that will make you happier than to give a loving home to deserving pooch.
Her Royal Highness, "Princess Millie" (aka Wish List):
So sorry for your loss. I have been blessed to have lived with dogs all of my life. I think it's important to realize why dogs only live a 'short' time, compared to people.
They are here to be our companions, love us unconditionally, protect us, make us get our lazy butts up in the middle of the night, occasionally scrub the rug, and make us laugh. They are so good at all this, that if they have accomplished this in their brief lives, then they can go to their future home-happy.
Your previous, beloved pet has prepared you to give another dog a good home. Get another dog; for you are one of the privilaged few that can appreciate all that a dog brings to the table of life.
I went through the same thing in 2008 when we lost our 15 year old Maltese, Corky. My husband immediately wanted another "little" boy, but I was against it. June 21, 2008, we got our Cody, and I instantly fell in love with him. My husband passed away July 20, 2008 (4 years ago today), and Cody then became my best friend, counselor always by my side while I grieved, cried, prayed and wished for my Charlie back again.
I think we must all do what works best for us because we all grieve differently. If we just let go and let God work, things turn out for the good, although this is not always the easy way.
My thoughts and prayers are with all those who have posted recently regarding the loss of a furbaby and those who know that the day is coming soon when they will have to make that decision.
As you see, many of us have gone through the same thing. It's never easy and the answers vary too. We had just about identical situation including our ages . We waited about 3 months before getting Jill from a rescue, but there were many internet searches and discussions between us.
I frequently talk to clients about getting new puppies. While disrespecting the deceased dog is always a concern, it is seldom a real issue once the new dog is home.
Taking steps to provide for the care of your new dog if you and your wife should die before the puppy is a real issue. Thinking about it and planning for it is a very positive step by you, you should be commended. I wish more people did this.
Family and friends are a good place to start the long term plans, but there are rescues that specialize in this type of situation. It provides peace of mind while allowing us as aging members of society to have be benefits of having a dog (or cat) in the household.
Sorry for your loss.
Doug, DVM
Doug & Sandy
Jill (11yr old Golden)& Charmin (16 yr old something)
Henry NOW a camping cat
2008 Southwind
2009 Honda CRV
Sorry for the loss. I wonder if perhaps there could be another issue of depression going on? I guess its a different perspective but if the grieving seems equal to loosing a human family member, that is just something we don't understand.
Jayco-noslide wrote: Sorry for the loss. I wonder if perhaps there could be another issue of depression going on? I guess its a different perspective but if the grieving seems equal to loosing a human family member, that is just something we don't understand.
I mean no disrespect to you, but If you've ever stood there and watched the vet giving your faithful dog that you raised from a pup, a shot to put him to sleep while he's staring at you, I think you'd understand.
Keep in mind that these little pets of ours ARE family members to us.
I can fully understand the grief they both are feeling right now. I cried for 2yrs every time I thought about our little guy, but having the new puppy to raise and care for eased the pain.
I was to busy housebreaking and cleaning poop
Just as loosing any loved one,, time does slowly heal even though you may not think so right now. It does get better I promise you.
3 years ago we lost our sheltie/corgie mix Bogey suddenly without any warning. Said that was it, not going thru this heartbreak again! 2 weeks later my wife said I'd better get another dog because I was so upset and grieving. To make a long story short, we rescued Divot, a 6 mo. old pembroke corgi just as we were leaving for a 1 month camping trip. One of the best things I ever did. Forget about your age, I was 66 at the time. By the way, since then we agreed to foster another corgi, 7 year old Bubba. I failed at fostering and we now have 2 corgis. I never forget Bogey and think of her every day, but Divot and Bubba sue help fill the void. And they are both camper-dogs. Al C.
Offline
