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 > Dogs vs. Cats - Joke - LMAO

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Valentine

between Arizona and Wisconsin

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Posted: 02/23/06 09:08am Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

I got this email from my youngest son and laughed so hard I needed a Kleenex. [emoticon] This might be appreciated more by those who own (or are owned by) a cat. Just had to share..........


Subject: Dogs vs. cats

Entries in a Dog's Diary:
7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


Entries in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. She speaks with them regularly. I am certain she reports my every move. Due to her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured.

But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.


2 retired postal workers
2 spoiled fur-kids

2002 Ford F150 - 2004 Jayco 24FB


susan-y

Southwest Oregon

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Posted: 02/23/06 09:49am Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Quote:

Due to her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured.


Valentine, I was in my bedroom and heard a horrible noise in the kitchen. Walked out to see the birdcage laying on its side on the floor, canary having a heart attack inside (feathers and birdseed everywhere of course). A bored cat sitting in the corner with a "how could I possible know how the birdcage fell off the top of the refrigerator" look on its face.

At the time I did not see the humor, but everyone (including Tweety) survived. Makes me chuckle now!


Life looks better through a windshield.

2008 Winnebago View

Chuck&Gail

In the Colorado Mountains

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Posted: 02/26/06 12:22pm Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Oh boy, a story, my favorite!


Chuck
Wonderful Wife
Australian Shepherd
2010 Ford Expedition TV
2010 Outback 230RS Toybox, 5390# UVW, 6800# Loaded
Not yet camped in Hawaii, 2 Canada Provinces, & 2 Territories
I can't be lost because I don't care where this lovely road is going

Pyromike

West Michigan

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Posted: 02/23/06 10:17am Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Valentine - As a dog and 2 cat household, I can relate! Even brought a smile on this dreary day.


*Don't sweat the petty things: Don't pet the sweaty things!

PyroMike - Family of 5
2004 Cougar 293BHS
*Remembering my brothers from 9/11*

Edelweiss

Florida

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Posted: 02/23/06 11:42am Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

susan-y wrote:

Quote:

Due to her current placement in the metal container, her safety is assured.


Valentine, I was in my bedroom and heard a horrible noise in the kitchen. Walked out to see the birdcage laying on its side on the floor, canary having a heart attack inside (feathers and birdseed everywhere of course). A bored cat sitting in the corner with a "how could I possible know how the birdcage fell off the top of the refrigerator" look on its face.

At the time I did not see the humor, but everyone (including Tweety) survived. Makes me chuckle now!


My girlfriend had a parakeet that was in a cage hanging from the ceiling so the cat couldn't get to it. But the cat got to it anyway. We heard an enormous ruckus one night and ran in to see what had happened. There was the cat, hanging from its claws on the bird cage. The bird was giving it the riot act and the cat was just dangling there with this dumbfounded expression on its face!

DIXIESMAMA

VIRGINIA

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Posted: 02/23/06 07:15pm Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Valentine, that is so funny and so true!

bgb1066a

Greenwood, IN, USA

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Posted: 02/26/06 01:27pm Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Dogs have owners.
Cats have staff.

Dog "They feed me, they stoke me, they take care of me, They must be gods"
Cat "They feed me, they stoke me, they take care of me, I must be god."


2004 F250 5.4V8
1998 Jayco Eagle 253
To Camp or not to camp, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the staleness and boardom of staying at home, or by camping - have fun. (Shakespeare would have had a 5'er)


Jusnew

Mead, Washington

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Posted: 02/27/06 05:19pm Link  |  Print  |  Notify Moderator

Oh, my God! You know my cat!


2005 Everest 344J
1 wife
1 cat who thinks she owns it all


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